A Mazda MiniVan is the Perfect Best Man for the Best Bachelor Party Ever

The truth is that, despite having the honor of planning my friend’s bachelor party, I really had no clue what we were going to do on Saturday until pretty much the day-of. Yes, that’s right: I basically improvised a bachelor party. But it turned out to be an incredible weekend thanks in no small part to a glorious 330,000 mile minivan — the same minivan featured in our April Article “Man Buys Most Reliable Minivan Ever, Takes Annual Photos Of His Children Growing Older In It As It Accrues 330,000 Miles.” Here’s why this machine was so perfect for the job.

I didn’t really think of this weekend as “wholesome” until I showed the following photos to a friend of mine here in California, who apparently shares many Americans’ views on what a typical bachelor party might look like — a raucous, alcohol-fueled rager that places the groom in situations on the very border of what is acceptable for anyone in a serious relationship. No, to me, and to the groom, Brandon (we’re both “squares,” you could argue), this just seemed like a damn fine weekend. And I’m glad, because I kind of had to shoot from the hip, as running this website and traveling to the Detroit Auto Show took up pretty much all of my time.

The first bit of luck that came up clutch was my friend Steve, one of the groomsmen, telling me he had a lakehouse we could use. I’d had no clue where we were going to stay, especially since one of the groomsmen felt it would be silly to spend lots of money on an AirBnB when he lives locally. The second thing that came up clutch was transport; typically, a car journalist would ring up an automaker and ask for a press vehicle, and I’m sure I could have done that. But what’s the point when my friend Jamie has the greatest bachelor-van in human history: the legendary 330,000 mile Mazda MPV?

The first activity of bachelor-weekend just sort of landed in my lap after Autopian contributor and enginerd Steve B. told me his friend could give us a tour of the Detroit Historical Society’s semi-secret car collection. This was an unbelievable experience, and one that I’ll be writing about soon; look at all those cars being preserved in those bubbles!

From there, Brandon and I met up with two other groomsmen, and the crew of five headed 60 miles to Toledo, Ohio to meet up with the fourth groomsman and eat at Brandon’s favorite restaurant, Inky’s Italian foods — home of the finest pizza in human history.

After the game, we drove the MPV an hour back from Toledo to the lakehouse near Jackson, Michigan. The van was absolutely phenomenal. Power from that 3.0-liter Duratec V6 was plentiful, and the JATCO five-speed automatic made the most of it, keeping revs really low on the highway to the point where I would regularly look down at the speedometer and see almost 90 mph. The thing is just that smooth!

As a bachelor machine, the MPV was perfect. Sure, the passenger’s side sliding door got jammed every now and then, but we had a second door on the other side, and everyone in our crew of five — once through that other opening — had plenty of room to stretch their legs.

On the dirt roads out in the country, the Mazda was fantastic. It shrugged off potholes, and once on the highway just hummed along steadily at 80 MPH. I love its visibility, its spaciousness, and its surprising speed. And for it to be so smooth and to feel almost like a brand new van — after 330,000 miles — is just remarkable.

I’d been a bit concerned about planning this bachelor party, but I’m pumped with how it all came together at the last second. Steve B. came in clutch with the tour of Detroit’s semi-secret car collection, groomsman Steve came in clutch with the lakehouse, Jamie came in clutch with the 330,000 mile Mazda minivan that drives far better than it should, the local town came in clutch with that tractor show, and the neighbor came in clutch with the boat ride.

Was it a rager? No. Would some consider it a bit on the “wholesome” side? Maybe so (I mean, five dudes hanging out at an apple orchard?). But Brandon and I just thought it was a damn fine weekend with good friends. And also with an incredible 330,000 mile minivan that shrugged off 250 miles like they were nothing.

Photo Source: Mazda USA Newsroom